syoish:

Everyone I follow: I’m leaving tumblr because of the nsfw ban, here’s my twitter and instagram.

Me, who’s been using tumblr as my sole source of social media since a crisp autumn day in 1648, hates change, and is terrified of a different social media experience:

image

whyisthisreality:

grays-galaxy:

business-pug:

siren-that-sings-owl-city:

wonderlandroundtwo:

amthsts:

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

low-budget-mulan:

pkslider:

slavery:

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids

and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

dubstepfordads:

if puppies could talk i would never even want to try and make human friends ever again

cobaltdays:

if you firmly believe cowboy cats would say meowdy hit that mf reblog

enecoo:

enecoo:

yzghuldar:

enecoo:

fluffballchikorita:

enecoo:

suicidal-ginny:

enecoo:

This Kirby will protect your posts from being flagged

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I’m waiting for this to get flagged honestly

Bold of you to assume Kirby will be flagged

He looks like a boobie

STOP SAYING THE NAUGHTY WORD

Your powers cannot stop The Purge.
Watch this:

Nipples.

You fools have been trying your very best to make this post flagged, but you all underestimate Kirby

30000 notes and you all still thought Kirby would get flagged, but Kirby is stronger than that

cockyhorror:

Actually tumblr all my content is sensitive I have a lot of feelings

gwennovynne:

who else just wants to fuck off and living in animal crossing. my neighbor is a bird. i sold three pieces of fruit and bought a sofa with the profit. caught butterflies for two straight hours. my debt exists but the debtor literally doesn’t give a single flying fuck. i wanna go drink coffee at a cafe where it’s served to me by a Gentle pigeon. everyone is happy like 99% of the time unless you whack em with a net or something idk